How can I tell if my child is depressed?

Do you know depressed when you see it?

Has your child seemed down lately? Has he or she lost interest in things that he/she used to enjoy doing? Your child may possibly be struggling with depression. We generally have a list of symptoms that we as counselors go by in making this sort of decision. However, if your child has been exhibiting some of the following symptoms recently, that may indicate possible depression:

  • Irritable mood
  • Sadness
  • Changes in appetite
  • Changes in activity levels
  • Changes in weight or appetite
  • Difficulty thinking or making decisions
  • Symptoms have to be present for most of the day almost every day for at least two weeks

Additionally, these symptoms need to have caused problems in other areas of life, such as friendships, interactions with family, school, or church. If you suspect that your child may be struggling with depression, please take him/her to go see a counselor. That person can make necessary referrals to other professionals or offer therapeutic services to your child.

What now?

If your child has been diagnosed with depression, perhaps you are wondering what you can do to support him/her. These suggested interventions are obviously going to vary based upon the severity of your child’s depression.

If your child or adolescent is making statements to you such as, “It would be better if I weren’t here”, “Life would be easier without me having to struggle with it”, or “I’m just going to kill myself”; your child is crying out to you for help. These statements and others like it are suicidal ideations- thoughts of suicide and self-harm. It is so important that you address these immediately and seek mental health assistance immediately for your child. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always open at 1-800-273-8255. Additionally, their website, http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ can help you get connected to resources within your local area which can be accessed immediately. And 911 is always available to help in the case of an emergency.

However, for someone who is less depressed, their interventions are going to look different. Certainly take your child or adolescent to go see a doctor or a counselor who works with depression. They may recommend seeing a psychiatrist depending upon the severity of the depression. Many times, however, traditional talk therapy, children’s play therapy, or family counseling are effective treatment pathways.

Strategies to try

Some simple tips that I can extend to you as a parent of a child struggling with depression are to be present as a parent. Take the time to connect with your child, not while watching TV or separately engaged with electronics or phones, but asking them what they would like to do. Go to the park, get a snow cone together, take a walk, play some board games. It doesn’t have to be expensive. This social support is so important for your child or adolescent as they are being treated for depression.

Also, reassure them that it is okay for them to not be okay. I’ve worked with many children who didn’t feel safe being anything but perfect and happy in front of their parents. What a weight it is to have to carry that front around at all times! A parent who creates that space for their child to express their true feelings is a parent who is opening communication lines with their child. And having these open communication lines with your child is so important, especially when you are wanting to talk to them about their feelings, about possibly bullying at school, about their self-concept.

There has to be a sense of security in the relationship that is there before a child will be able to fully open up about difficult things. And if your child is not ready to talk yet, don’t worry! Continue pursuing quality time with them and building the relationship from your end.

For more information about how to deal with childhood depression, I’ve included the link below.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/Childhood-Depression-What-Parents-Can-Do-To-Help.aspx

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